


Post it

by imbadwholf



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual, Lesbian Rey, M/M, ace!Finn, discovering sexualities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7078807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbadwholf/pseuds/imbadwholf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn finding out about post it note, his sexuality and his worth.<br/><br/>Tw: talk of sex, and almost internalised acephobia</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ali the light of my life](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ali+the+light+of+my+life), [stuckay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckay/gifts).



A usual night in Poe’s room pre-Finn consisted of avoiding the hollow place, turning on holo vids as loud as he could and spending as long as possible around base instead. But this is not a tale about the sadness dwelling in the pilot’s heart during those times, instead it starts on an evening with his friend and him laying on the couch and reminiscing on some shared adventures. Before the pale boy could even notice Finn was on his feet, and to a startled expression he explained. “I’m thirsty.” Despite their current positions Poe tried to insist on providing the drinks. All it took was a simple tap to the chest from his crush and his attempt to rise was halted. “I’ll go.” In the mini kitchen that came with Poe’s title Finn retrieved a can. Next to the appropriate cabinet he saw a bright spark of colour. “Wha-” Picking up the object Finn was greeted with some beeps in his feet. Although the ex-stormtrooper was learning binary that did not mean he was fluent and most certainly meant he had no clue what unfamiliar words the droid was mumbling to him at such quick speed. “Pardon?” BB8 simply repeated some noises at the confused human. 

Wrapped up in the conversation Finn did not notice that they had been joined by Poe. “What was that about a post it?”  
Looking at the other man he noticed the fluorescent pink in his hand. It radiated off his check as his eyes widened in amusement at the simple thing. On it was scribbled a little memo from Jess. “Took some snacks- J”. Poe was tipping his head over his companion’s strong arms to read the illegible scrawl and so when he laughed at it his head tilted down to Finn. In unison they both blushed.  
Turning it over in his hand Finn asked about the note. “I don’t understand… wha-why…”  
“It’s a post it note.” Poe shrugged while getting himself a drink.  
After taking a little sip the questions started. For a while they stood there before migrating to the sofa and continuing their discussion, the whole time the boy receiving the bombardment of inquiries simply waited for a breath in Finn's rampage of words in order to provide some answers. “So you can put anything on them? At all? And then leave them… on things.”  
“Yes. There is no one to police your writing and you can put them anywhere within reason. I mean you probably shouldn’t put them on the General’s desk.”  
Nodding in agreement Finn prepared to settle back and continue their previous discussion, content with the new finding, but when did so he found himself the only person in the room. Upon hearing his name Poe returned to the living room holding an orange square in his hand, as he approached he dropped a pen on the floor. “What are yo- Oh.” Without asking anything else Finn put his hand to his forehead and removed the note. On it was a badly drawn smile face.  
“In know it’s not as bright as that pink one. I just thou-” Arms tugged him to the sofa. They lay locked together.  
Carelessly Finn dropped the pink thing to the ground but tugged the new note closer to himself. “It’s perfect.” He said in a whisper so quiet it could easily have been taken by the background noise of a working base, but Poe listened to everything his companion had to say and tried not to miss a single moment. Nothing was too small to not pay attention to, so that sentence was easy to hear in the dark.

-

The next time Poe had to leave on a mission he was surrounded by a group of whistling comrades all shouting about his return. “Yeah yeah.” He absent mindedly nodded along to their sentiments not really paying too much heed to their words, all of them washing over him in large waves; far too enormous for one distracted mind to even start to count. It was like when he had tried to put a number to the stars in the sky when his mum had been away on a mission; he soon found it was best to not bother. “See you Poe.” Four bodies away and to the side of a large droid Finn lowered his head and moved away. Without meaning to, or to not, Poe found himself stepping away from a confused crowd and gripping Finn’s forearm lightly. “Wha-”  
Their hug was different from the first, it left one shoulder on each man slightly damp. Like that timed they had embraced once whilst watched a sad love holovid. “Go to my room tonight.” Finn nodded still in shock and that’s when Poe realised how faintly his request had sounded like a command. “If you would like to, you know, if you want.” Suddenly his hair on the back of his neck had become itchy and he tried to relive the slight pain there but he was fully aware that he would never be able to stop the stinging of blood under his cheeks.  
“No. Yes, I mean of course. I would love to. I mean I would like to.” They both gushed a little.  
A whistle grounded Poe harder than any landing at half light speed had ever managed to. But then he had never been as high as he was when he looked in Finn’s eyes, the dark pools more enticing than anything above them in the skies. Maybe it would be worth counting all the stars in the sky, putting a figure under their name if it meant he could see Finn this content. “I’ll be back.” He promised.  
Aware that such a statement held as much weight as the air that carried the words to his ears Finn simply replied. “Okay.”  
Not ready to let his friend go Poe repeated himself and then with more confidence said. “I will.”  
“How will I know the password to your room?” Cheeks aflame Finn had lowered his voice since the start of the question but it was not enough of a diffrence in volume to avoid the approaching workers overhearing. They all exchanged looks.  
In a hushed tone Poe told him. “It’s your name.”

Watching Poe leave was too much for him, so when the pilot had returned to the waiting group of people Finn left. For an hour or so he moved around rooms in the corridor trying to familiarize himself with the surrounding some more. When enough time had passed that there was no way Poe wasn’t in a different galaxy he entered the room. Through the tiny kitchen was the bedroom and there was a plastic wrapper waiting for him. “Enjoy.” A familiar hand had written on the top. Instantly Finn knew what he had been gifted with. “I will.” He said to no one and still the most important one. Tearing open the package Finn picked up a green post note and doodle on the first one, a hurricane was what he found under his pen when he lifted it. A beautiful piece of art, as Poe would later label it.

-

Upon his return home Poe couldn’t find Finn, even going to the other’s room was a fruitless search. Jess had told him “your boyfriend” (“he is not my boyfriend”) “is on base dude, don’t worry.”. Heading to his own shower Poe saw a yellow slip on his door. “Welcome home.” The smile that had caused was nothing in comparison to the full blown grin gracing his face when he saw his friend standing behind the door.  
Rushing up from his sitting position the darker boy held him close. “I have missed you.” It was a quiet sentence but loud enough.  
“Having fun with the post it notes?”  
That caused Finn to pull back and playfully slap Poe’s arm. “You shouldn’t have done that. You have already given me so much.”  
Within his head Poe tried to figure out the error he had made. Stepping back he held up his hands. “You don’t owe me anything Finn. That’s not how…” He wafted his hand between them. “That is not how this works.”  
“Bu-”  
A tint of anger laced Poe’s words like a poisonous veil was being pulled over them. “No. That is… no. Finn please tell me you understand that. Like if you just hang out here because of that, or if you think you need to do anything for anyon-”  
When he looked up those eyes he loved were closer than he had remembered before and the mouth below was asking him.“Am I brave?”  
“Of course!” Unsure of how this conversation was linked Poe couldn’t retain the automatic truth. “The bravest person I know.”  
After biting his lip Finn gulped. “Then can you… can you be braver, for me?”  
Still unsure of the actual request Poe nodded and then went to grasp his friend hand before he pulled back remembering their previous line of discussion. “Anything.”  
“How do you like me?”  
Giggling a little Poe answered easily. “It’s impossible not to, you are kind and so brave and lovely an-”  
Interrupting Finn shook his head. “No. I mean, maybe I am, but how do you like me? Is…” Mocking Poe he wafted his hand in the small distance between them. “For you, is this all… platonic? Is this a romantic attraction? Or indifference?”  
Retreating again Poe found his back greated by the wall. “I… Who was it? Was it Jess?” be brave, for me. “Please don’t hate me.”  
“I could never.”  
“Yes.”  
“To what?”  
“Both.”  
“Both?”  
A bit annoyed the pilot pushed his fingers through his hair and let the limb thud against the wall gently. “As in I know you want to be friends. And I respect that. I do. I promise. But I want… if I had the choice. We would be, dating. Romantically. But I get that yo-”  
Something gently grace his lips and he opened his eyes to find a red piece of paper below his nose. When he removed it from his face he read it. “ Same” Theirs first kiss was swift and a mixture of teeth and care. Even though he had done this many time before it was by far the best one Poe had ever experienced. When they pulled apart he felt a fifty-fifty split between begging for more and needing some time to recover. “Guess I don’t need this one.”  
Before Finn could pocket the blue note Poe had awoken from his daze and grasped it. Instead of the same word he had just read it said “Sorry” on it. “Wha-”  
“I was worried you wouldn’t feel the same way. I’d have left.”  
“How could I not want to…. Why would you think that I didn’t?”  
Looking at Poe as if he was stupid. “Best pilot in the galaxy.” Finn said as if that was a decent enough answer to undermine his own worth.  
“The bravest person I have ever known.” Holding hands Poe suddenly dropped the fingers locked within his own. “You feel like I am… Am I pressuring you? Do you want this? With me? You know you don’t owe me anything, right?”  
The second time they kissed was more efficient. “You aren't. I want this. With you. And I know.”  
Poe tore the apology up to the floor and they kissed again.

-

The next morning Finn awoke to find a note on the bedstand. “Good morning beautiful” it read.

-

One night while Poe was working until four moons had fallen in the window next to him, not that he had noticed, BB8 rolled in. “Buddy I am a bit bus-What was that about Finn?” Finally dragging his attention away from the flight records he looked down at the droid to be greeted by a stripy note stuck on its head. “See you later babes” The next few minutes he worked with a faster speed.  
  
-

“Rey all I am saying is that,” Looking at the floating camera Finn noticed the tiny circle attached to it’s side. “One mo,” Holding up a finger he signaled that he would soon return his concentration on her. Appreciating the little doodled flower on the paper he tore his attention back to the hologram. “Sorry,” He apologized. “What was I saying?”

-

It was all well as good them making signs for each other within their own environment, in the boards of exclusion from other people, but bar the note on BB8 and the door Finn resisted mentioning them outside their room. In fact he avoided discussing them at all to anyone, for fear it would embarrass Poe. Maybe having others remind him of his importance for the resistance and Finn's… lack of, he might see his senses and that was not something the ex-trooper would never be ready for. One lunch in the canteen Finn changed his view on privacy. Out of nowhere he found a hand wrapped around his waist as he sat talking to Jess. If the heat behind him, the shapes of his boyfriend’s muscle and the feel of those toned arms had not been so familiar from the nights they had spent wrapped up together, he might have frozen in fear but instead he leaned back to the orange suit. “You okay?”  
“Yes darling, you?” Unable to form word he just nodded. And of course Poe understood. “Look down.” With that the pilot was gone, Finn did ask requested and found on his plate a note, on a white sticky note was a massive x. Pre Poe Finn would not have understood the meaning behind it. But this is not a story about that sad times. It is one about how Finn smiled while looking down and knew Poe had left him a kiss.

-

When Finn was unsure about something he went to Poe. Their conversations had varied greatly in the breadth of topic they had discussed. But this was something he found himself wrapped up in a blanket and asking the hologram of his best friend instead. “When I found out I was a lesbian it turned out there was a lode of other sexulities. It’s not all straight or gay, Finn maybe look into it? Figure out how to tell Poe as well.”  
“How am I supposed to tell Poe?” He almost shouted. “He could never understand and probably never forgive me. It’s not fair on him.”  
“What’s not fair on me?” The pilot in question wandered from the door on the other side of the room.  
Pulling back the blanket Finn turned off the camera. “Got to go Rey.”  
“Finn?”  
“I just.. It’s just I… let me figure this out? Yeah?”  
Without hesitation Poe nodded. “But um, please, tell me… I don’t think you did but I just have to ask, because it sounded like that… and I just…”  
“What?”  
Laughing Poe shook his head. “No it just sounded like you cheated on me. But I know you, babes. I know it’s not that.”  
Seriously the other man confirmed. “No, I didn’t. Never.”  
“I know. When you find out what it is, and you want to tell me, feel free.”

The next time Poe see’s a note it’s after several weeks away. He is tired and the yellow is the first bright thing that didn’t elude to death and destruction he had seen since leaving his boyfriend. On it is a smiley face as bright as the one behind it. “Welcome home.”  
Finn’s chest was holding up a piece of paper that grasped his attention. “What is th-” Over the purple was the cursive sentence. “I am asexual.”  
A bit shocked Poe startled a little. “Oh. Okay. We just keep you comfortable. Alright?”  
Choked Finn found it hard to stumble through the words he wanted to say. “Ye-yes. Thank you.”  
“Nothing to thank me for. Is that okay? Have we said as much as you want?” Finn nodded. “Then dinner it is.”

-

Before too long they were using them for domestic things as well as cute messages. Lists of things they had to get, dates to be remembered ect. It felt like they would never stop finding uses for them.

-

The first time Finn said he loved Poe to the man he wanted to do just that. He wanted to use words, not because words weren’t as powerful when given visually as they were orally, it was just he knew that talking was something he felt like was a big step. It was a moment for him. A time to appreciate Poe and tell him how he felt without the restriction of editing. As soon as he started the declaration he knew it would either be a constantly halting project or the words would fall from his lips rapidly after one another. Hoping for the later he appreciated the room around him, a trail of pink notes had been made on the floor leading to the sink, where he stood. “Oh what is this, be careful BB8, don’t mess them up.” Finn laughed at the indignant reply. “I know you wouldn’t mean to. Hello gorgeous.” Poe smiled when their eyes meet. Moving forward he made to kiss his partner but was halted by an outstretched arm.  
“I have found words hard before but I love you,” And it started. The first of many times he would freely use such heavy language. Going against his plan it turned out his unplanned speech was stopped numerous times but by the welcomed meeting of their lips instead of nerves.  
Valuing their secret code Poe wrote down the same sentiment and places it over Finn’s heart before saying the words in the air. BB8 sighed at them while it strolled out to talk with Jess about the new development.

-

A new cadet was transferred from another base. He was younger than Finn, paler and taller. Not as strong but he might have the ability to be if given the chance. Originally Finn let the man fall under his radar until he overheard the boy talking about how he fancied Poe. It wasn’t like how Finn felt for his boyfriend, it was more sensual a connection the man wanted. It felt pointless making Poe aware, if he wasn’t already, of the attention he was gathering. “I heard he can take three guys at once.”  
“Yeah? I heard he lasted for over ten hours. Imagine that.”  
Trying to slip past them unnoticed Finn was hurled into the conversation. “Hey, you the kid Poe’s shacking up with right?” Called the new boy. His blonde hair moved on his head as he examined Finn’s exterior. Unsure of how to answer he waited for one of the other pilots to confirm this. Nodding his blond locks the new recruit extended a hand as he said his own name. “Andrew.”  
“Finn.”  
“Oh the stormtrooper!” Andrew’s eye light up with recognition of the name. “So you haven’t been together that… long right? Can’t have been more than a year, right?” Still unsure of what to say Finn slightly moved his head in form of answer. “So been on the famous third date yet?” Wiggling his eyes around the younger man waited for an answer.  
Mentally Finn tried to consider how many dates he and Poe had been on. The nights they had spent together were now almost innumerable, and most of the ones even when physically apart they had called one another. Narrowing it down a little Finn tried to consider how many candle light dinners they had been on, as he remember that was a category when looking up romantic attraction during his research. They had only been on two. “No not yet.”  
This answer seemed to momentarily shock those around him. “Oh! Enjoy.” They walked away. “I know I would.”

BB8 had decided to spend the evening following Finn around and telling him jobs he could do. The ability to not have to choose his activities was nice but it freed up some time for him to consider what Andrew’s words had meant. What was so special about a certain date? In between cleaning two guns he asked the droid to look up information about it. “So it’s when people generally have… when they… for the first time together?”  
Moving his head around in agreement.

Tired did not begin to describe the exhaustion Finn felt as he walked out of the hallway and towards the waiting sofa. In his lethargic state he almost missed the light candle at his feet. “What the flip?” He asked.  
“Oops sorry. I know I should be more careful with open flames. In my defence I was about to move it but then the oven bleeped.”  
“Oven?”  
“Yeah I canceled our dinner, in the cafeteria, got BB8 to occupy you for a few hours and sorted out the place.” He hadn’t meant to burden his efforts on his partner but he couldn’t stop himself from talking due to the nerves. “You like it?”  
It was then that Finn took in the various candles around the place and the table in the living room, garnished with it’s own flame and two plates. “Wow.” Giving Poe a quick kiss he pulled back. “Oh no. Poe I can’t.” And then he ran to the bedroom.  
When Poe found the toilet cubicle locked he knocked on the door. “You sick?”  
Grasping for an excuse Finn said. “Yes. Very sick. No date for me.”  
“Oh okay.”

It wasn’t even a week later that Poe put another candle out during dinner, Finn promptly lifted himself off the table and excused himself. A few days later as they watched a movie Poe got up to get crisps, and during his travels light up the room with that amber glow. “No!” Howled Finn curling up on the sofa and crying a little.  
Quickly he felt those strong arms around him. “What is it?”  
“Is this a date?”  
“Yes… I suppose so.”  
“I don’t want to have sex Poe.”  
“I know darling.”  
“But I understand that is something you want and I don’t want you to making do with me, becau-”  
“Finn. Can I talk please?” Waiting for a nod he continues. “Yeah I like sex. I have enjoyed it in the past and if you wanted it I'm sure I'd enjoy it with you. But darling you don't, you don't want it and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with lustful relationships us, we aren't that. I like you so much it's scares me sometimes. I'm not “making do” or whatever, I'm just honestly just so thankful for any connection we can have.”  
Taken aback by Poe’s words the man took a moment to collect himself. “But I won't be able to…. Sassify you.”  
Grilling Finn’s hands almost hard enough to leave marks Poe whispered “You do. In every other way. Sure sex is nice but it not everything in a romantic thing like we have.”  
“Relationship.” Finn filled in the gaps. To which Poe repeated the word again a smile slowly creasing on his face. “But Andrew,”  
“Who?”  
“A new recruit, he was talking to some people about third dates and ho-”  
Stopping him with a kiss to Poe said. “That reminds me I meant to ask why are you so averse to candles and I presume dates.” Everything clicked into place behind the wide rises. “The third date rule?”  
Letting out a sigh Finn fell backwards. “It's a rule so we have to?”  
“No. No that's just what it's called. It's not a rule.”  
“That's silly.”

In agreement Poe snuggled up to his partner. “As silly as the premise itself. This relationship,” he flushed at the word a little. “Is ours. We are going at our speed to a destination different to somes but that's okay. I still want to be on this journey.”  
As corny as it was all that proclamations was worth it when Finn grinned. “Okay.”  
“And if anything ever changes just tell me.” The muscle tension beneath Poe’s grasp was instantaneous. Releasing how they may have sounded Poe carried on. “Not that I expect it to ever change, that way. But if hugs and kisses become a no-no then please just tell me.”  
Nodding. “Good please don't hold out for something that is super unlikely.”  
“This. If this is all you ever want then I'm so happy to have this.”  
Bending down and giving Poe a kiss Finn mumbled “I'm so happy to have this as well.”  
That night in their bed Poe flipped out his wallet and looked down at the post it note there, it was the green one. The one that was a work of art, created by a masterpiece. It was rushed and a little crumpled on the corners but it was perfect. Dangerous in it’s carelessness. Free in its exuberance. So very worthy of all the time he gave attention to it. Much like the one who created it.


End file.
